icubud: (Default)

Great short article by Ms. Quade on the Victory Girls blog.

Did plumbing work yesterday, which was a first. So far, so good. Thank God. It would be great to save a couple hundred dollars. Rain and thunderstorms this morning. I hope it breaks the humidity and not contribute to it. Carol leaves Wednesday morning for Santa Barbara, she comes back Saturday evening. I am taking half of Thursday and all Friday off (Lord willing). Hoping for great quality time with no interruptions or distractions. Please!!!

The darkness of thoughts and mind are still something I am having to battle constantly. God is getting me through it but I really wish all the blackness would simply vanish. Something I find interesting is yesterday in my reading I came across this portion of scripture that I have read many, many times before but yesterday God pointed out to me something I had not noticed. Joh 14:27 "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." (emphasis added by me) He showed me it is a choice. I know a lot of my "issues" is chemistry but I still have a choice to drown or be engulfed by it - or battling it. Not to let it be troubled, afraid. Other verses then came to mind immediately that also pointed to this truth such as Philippians 4:4,6-9 (not be full of care...) and what to actually think on.


icubud: (phrenologydiagram_by_me)

 

Ok, so here we are again. A weekend. 
Life is ___________.

Quite exasperating when you look at things and end up saying to yourself something to the effect of _____________.

Currently the thunder is rumbling but not near as loud as last night. We had a couple hours of continuous very loud bangs and rumbles and the room lighting brightly due to the lightning. Cool stuff. Supposed to wrap this morning before noon. It looks like the early darkness of 8 pm outside right now. 

I started taking a new probiotic on Monday called ActivatedYou. I will give a "full report" on it in another week.
Day 9 or 10 or something like that - in ref to tapering off the gabapentin. I am not sure if the headaches I am getting are because of that or poor sleep. I'm gonna keep at this level one more week and then try another 10% reduction.

We dropped off Chester after work yesterday to a RV mechanic in order to give it a thorough once over (for insurance) and then to give it an oil change, tune up and a pair of new brakes.

I so often feel that this is true:

All the world's indeed a stage
And we are merely players
Performers and portrayers
Each another's audience
Outside the gilded cage

Actually that verse runs through my head a few times everyday.

Also for some odd reason these words from "Sara" written by Stevie Nicks has been running in my head the past three days:

But now it's gone 
They say it doesn't matter anymore

I just about jumped out my skin. Shew!  HUGE thunder boom. 

New show recommendation on Netflix: The Scottish series: Shetland. If u enjoyed Inspector Wallender, I think u will really enjoy it. They have three seasons out there which equals 14 episodes.

POURING outside. Now looks like midnight. God, please don't allow us to lose power.

Sammi – Samantha, my youngest niece turned 16 on Monday. Unbelievable!! Family is coming over tomorrow (LW) to celebrate her birthday. God, please – allow it, actually make it – go smooth and fun.

 [Everything just flickered. AH!!!]

Question for each of u. Do u often catch yourself editing your LJ? Ja know, something like, “I can’t share that” or “they’ll think bad of me” or --- yada yada, u get it.

icubud: (Default)
I wonder what it is about Sundays that I am usually:
  • very much out of whack
  • worse headaches
  • a feeling of detachment from my body
  • and often, brewing if not bubbling anger
I had noticed this probably 10 years ago. At the time I figured it was for some specific thing at the moment.

But now, after 500 Sundays under the belt, it is still that way. No change in diet. No difference in sleep/not-sleep issue/routine. No observable difference in any behavior changes from other days. 

Along with this, whatever "this" is; time on Sundays seems to go at twice the pace. It seems like 10 minutes ago it was 3:30. And when I noticed it was 3:30, I was expecting the clock to show 1. No other day does time move so freaking rapidly.

After a false start, this evening I start the taper. 
icubud: (Calvin making faces)
Well dang.
(Just felt like "saying" that.)

Carol is with Chester till 1 and I get quiet me time. I told her the plan for today is no plan. No expectations. None of the trappings. She will have a tough time making that a reality.

Our weather here is gorgeous. Windows open again. Birds singing. Nice. Supposed to be mid 70s as a high.

Did some reading yesterday and plan to do more of it today.

I decided to import my LJ to DW and then use DW as the posting journal and set it to cross-post to here. I will use LJ directly for keeping up with my LJFs. If I set it up right, your comments to my LJ will cross-post to my DW as well. I had set up a DW acct back in 2012 as a back up for my LJ but then I discovered the LJ Book site and was no longer concerned about using DW as a back up. Dawned on me yesterday after I posted that if I used this as I just described I would have real time back up of for each journal account so why not do that?

Now if I could figure out how to have a backup of my Tumblr accounts.

Monday I had a dental hygiene appt and yesterday I had my eye exam. Kinda feeling like a car getting maintenance. I think my increase in headaches is tied to my eyes straining. She said after examining that my Rx has changed significantly. So fingers crossed.

Guess that's it.
icubud: (phrenologydiagram_by_me)
I took PTO this week, Wed-Fri. Carol is taking it tomorrow and Fri. I am feeling out of sorts, not sure why. Maybe its the result of all the emotional stuff surrounding Carol's mom. No clue. Ultimately no biggie. Carol is focusing on the RV which has been officially named - Chester. She has completed a lot of work inside and out. I thank God we have this for her to focus on right now.

I saw this morning that Steve Perry did participate in the ROR HOF induction but did not perform. I'm glad he showed up, w/o him - no JOURNEY.

Lots of stuff swirling in our country but I don't have the energy to post/write about it. I really don't like in many ways how our society has become.

Yes United Airlines is deplorable. We no longer use them. While the physical removal of a passenger from their plane so an employee could fly for free has made news, I am surprised that this occurrence has not. Fast fwd to 1:07.  Of course it is also an example of how feminism, dems and ACLU fail us and our country. Why do I write that? Where is the outrage, lawsuit and investigations?  Why is it that MSM and TPTB want us to bow down to mohommad and his god? Why do they want us under sharia law? Why is it that liberals and dems prefer them and their culture?

*exhales* Ok - so I did write a little about current events.

I plan to start my tapering off gabapentin/neurotin tomorrow. I'm planning to do 10% reductions every two weeks.

Oh yeah, I see some of u commenting that u are concerned or are moving to DW because of the updated LJ user agreement. I read it --- ok -- scanned it. What is there in it that is disturbing?

Guess that is it for now.
icubud: (Problems_by_ThisLatestPlague)

A wonderful LJF made a post yesterday commenting about their need to reassess their LJ's purpose. I think about that quite a bit. I too have noticed some LJFs rarely comment though they are active on their LJ. I figure either they are not reading mine, are reading but having nothing to "say" or they are avoiding "unfriending" for fear of drama. I've noticed over the past seven maybe eight years, development/growth of my LJFs in what they use to post about has changed over time. Heck I know mine has and I am not sure one can call it good or bad - it just is.

For myself my LJ is the only social - real - interaction I get with people outside of my family. My work dynamic for the past four years has been isolationary and unhealthy. I and we (wifey) have no friends to run around and do things with who actually will do anything with us. Sure we have the past peers who say "we need to get together" but unfortunately it doesn't happen. Plans always get canceled or emails not returned. Not complaining or whining just “being real”. It is not as pathetic as it “sounds”. All that to “say” this is my only outlet, means and hope for any interaction with people who have some similar interests to me. YET - being a social media site and having a brain I am not transparent about everything going in my life or how I might feel or what I am thinking about everything. But it’s the most honest I can be and that includes at home. Sad to say for me and probably a lot of us – life has not evolved/turned out to be what we had hoped.

So….

If any of my LJFs want to unfriend me, I understand – no drama. Also if I unfriend anyone I’d appreciate no drama as well. Unfriending is not personal it is just change that happens in lives every day. Consider it the equivalent of moving to another state.

icubud: (Problems_by_ThisLatestPlague)

A wonderful LJF made a post yesterday commenting about their need to reassess their LJ's purpose. I think about that quite a bit. I too have noticed some LJFs rarely comment though they are active on their LJ. I figure either they are not reading mine, are reading but having nothing to "say" or they are avoiding "unfriending" for fear of drama. I've noticed over the past seven maybe eight years, development/growth of my LJFs in what they use to post about has changed over time. Heck I know mine has and I am not sure one can call it good or bad - it just is.

For myself my LJ is the only social - real - interaction I get with people outside of my family. My work dynamic for the past four years has been isolationary and unhealthy. I and we (wifey) have no friends to run around and do things with who actually will do anything with us. Sure we have the past peers who say "we need to get together" but unfortunately it doesn't happen. Plans always get canceled or emails not returned. Not complaining or whining just “being real”. It is not as pathetic as it “sounds”. All that to “say” this is my only outlet, means and hope for any interaction with people who have some similar interests to me. YET - being a social media site and having a brain I am not transparent about everything going in my life or how I might feel or what I am thinking about everything. But it’s the most honest I can be and that includes at home. Sad to say for me and probably a lot of us – life has not evolved/turned out to be what we had hoped.

So….

If any of my LJFs want to unfriend me, I understand – no drama. Also if I unfriend anyone I’d appreciate no drama as well. Unfriending is not personal it is just change that happens in lives every day. Consider it the equivalent of moving to another state.

icubud: (symbol of 3 areas of interest)
My car was registering a 106 while driving! A hundred and freaking six! Heat index expected in our area from 112-115 degrees. Thank you government programs using chemtrails and HAARP. The chaotic weather patterns are being deliberately created so that liberal philosophical legislation can be pushed through governments across the world. Yes some of you think I'm nuts but honestly that is beside the point. (sigh)

Went to the gym again today. 15 minutes of treadmill 45 minutes of various nautilus machines - working on my core and butt. These two areas are supposed to help my back yaddah yaddah. Tomorrow is the pool and oodles of stretching and flexibility aqua therapy. I'd much rather being sitting and surfing, writing or reading. Instead I'm propped up at home now with ice on my back, aching and zero energy.

Pinch me now but my blog has been getting quite a bit of activity the last three days. Hopefully that will trickle into some "conversation"and traffic. Yesterday I posted my draft for a third X-Files movie. It takes up six months from the end of the second movie.  If your an X-Files fan check it out. It was a lot of fun to write so.



icubud: (Default)
I think I am going to quit posting my middle east interest stuff here and instead singularly post on my blog. In fact I may do the same with all my political/government commentary/news. Crossing posting is ridiculous on such a continuous effort IMO. Waste of space and time. So if for some reason you were actually interested in those posts you can bookmark my blog as a favorite site or more simply register your email address as a subscriber to the blog and you will get emailed when I update.

I will try to keep my LJ to personal stuff which will probably reduce my posting habits (you are welcome).  Onto personal stuff...

Yesterday I resumed my gym activity. I went to the LA Fitness up the street and did laps and stretches in the pool for 20 minutes and then did my basketball exercise for about 30 minutes. I had purposed to take it slow and methodical so as to not aggravate anything and that seems to have worked. Today is an off day and tomorrow I will go back up and do the same and maybe tack on 20 minutes of treadmill. Since the surgery I have been very leery of getting hurt so I have deliberately kept away from opportunities that I may overdue it. I noticed over the past couple months though that much of my flexibility is gone again and I know I need that in order not to hurt as well as since I am getting older it has double impact.

Netflix recommendation: The Border - a Canadian production - first couple episodes the sound mix is a bit out of whack, the soundtrack is louder than the dialogue but they get it corrected. Good show with interesting characters and back stories.

Trying to gear up mentally for the whole looking for a job thing. Wifey says this may be the time to shake things up and try something new, something I really want to do. How can I get a job being a millionaire?




icubud: (Default)
as defined at dictionary.com
inspiration
1. an inspiring or animating action or influence: I cannot write poetry without inspiration.
2. something inspired, as an idea.
3. a result of inspired activity.
4. a thing or person that inspires.

inspired - aroused, animated, or imbued with the spirit to do something, by or as if by supernatural or divine influence: an inspired poet.

inspire
1. to fill with an animating, quickening, or exalting influence: His courage inspired his followers.
2. to produce or arouse (a feeling, thought, etc.): to inspire confidence in others.
3. to fill or affect with a specified feeling, thought, etc.: to inspire a person with distrust.
4. to influence or impel: Competition inspired her to greater efforts.
5. to animate, as an influence, feeling, thought, or the like, does: They were inspired by a belief in a better future.

I have determined another reason for the lack of creativity in my life was the lack of inspiration and not storing up such inspiring things. I have started a folder on my computer named inspire where I am stashing away images, words and ideas. I am also using Tumblr now which has been a great resource of inspiration. Something else new to my world is pinterest.com. While I don't have an account I see others lists, ideas and whatever and snatching inspiration wherever I find it. Now I can feel the creativity sparks coming to life and I am hopeful and excited as to what this may create.
icubud: (Default)
as defined at dictionary.com
inspiration
1. an inspiring or animating action or influence: I cannot write poetry without inspiration.
2. something inspired, as an idea.
3. a result of inspired activity.
4. a thing or person that inspires.

inspired - aroused, animated, or imbued with the spirit to do something, by or as if by supernatural or divine influence: an inspired poet.

inspire
1. to fill with an animating, quickening, or exalting influence: His courage inspired his followers.
2. to produce or arouse (a feeling, thought, etc.): to inspire confidence in others.
3. to fill or affect with a specified feeling, thought, etc.: to inspire a person with distrust.
4. to influence or impel: Competition inspired her to greater efforts.
5. to animate, as an influence, feeling, thought, or the like, does: They were inspired by a belief in a better future.

I have determined another reason for the lack of creativity in my life was the lack of inspiration and not storing up such inspiring things. I have started a folder on my computer named inspire where I am stashing away images, words and ideas. I am also using Tumblr now which has been a great resource of inspiration. Something else new to my world is pinterest.com. While I don't have an account I see others lists, ideas and whatever and snatching inspiration wherever I find it. Now I can feel the creativity sparks coming to life and I am hopeful and excited as to what this may create.

Sigh

May. 31st, 2012 08:05 am
icubud: (Default)
Tomorrow is K-1.
The Demon has been exceptionally busy in my work life. WHY be so freaking hateful and mean? I have prayed and given her to God and now just gotta keep my head down and plow through it.
Between the whole work dynamics right now and the ever heavy cloud of family stuff I covet your prayers and good thoughts.


icubud: (Calvin yelling to the universe)
My LJ account successfully imported into Dreamwidth. Yeah!
Completed some serious cleaning up of my "tags". Yeah!
Still waiting for wifey to leave so I can decorate.

My Garden

Feb. 19th, 2012 03:23 pm
icubud: (Default)

CHA!

Dec. 12th, 2011 08:18 am
icubud: (iron man)
Not exactly the weekend I had in mind but then again it wasn’t something worse so that is good. Sunday we went to Starbucks to read for a hour and half. I brought my mini with me and was going to catch up on LJ and Bible study. The mini still was set up with IE as the browser so it kept crashing while on LJ. I did a quick internet search for Firefox and downloaded and then ran it. I wasn’t paying attention and it bit me. It was a virus not the program. Someone had gone to great lengths to trick people and 9/10 times I would have caught it before running it, except on Sunday I was distracted and hurrying. A couple hours later and I have my mini restored without the virus and my AV reinstalled and Firefox installed. So no reading completed and a bunch of frustration and anger added. I’d really like to fa-la-la-la on that jerk’s head!

CHA!

Dec. 12th, 2011 08:18 am
icubud: (iron man)
Not exactly the weekend I had in mind but then again it wasn’t something worse so that is good. Sunday we went to Starbucks to read for a hour and half. I brought my mini with me and was going to catch up on LJ and Bible study. The mini still was set up with IE as the browser so it kept crashing while on LJ. I did a quick internet search for Firefox and downloaded and then ran it. I wasn’t paying attention and it bit me. It was a virus not the program. Someone had gone to great lengths to trick people and 9/10 times I would have caught it before running it, except on Sunday I was distracted and hurrying. A couple hours later and I have my mini restored without the virus and my AV reinstalled and Firefox installed. So no reading completed and a bunch of frustration and anger added. I’d really like to fa-la-la-la on that jerk’s head!
icubud: (Default)
I think I might have more mental problems that I suspected.
On Black Friday I did suggest shopping at the outdoor outlet mall near Monroe, Ohio.
A two and a half hour experience that the weather and outside atmosphere/environment made almost enjoyable.
I THEN volunteered yesterday to go with her to do a couple returns and then shopping at Costco and Target.
Maybe she slipped a mickey and made me docile?
Or maybe subconsciously I am deliberately punishing myself?
Or maybe I have become a shopping-masochist?
My imaginary friend won't even talk to me....
icubud: (Default)
I think I might have more mental problems that I suspected.
On Black Friday I did suggest shopping at the outdoor outlet mall near Monroe, Ohio.
A two and a half hour experience that the weather and outside atmosphere/environment made almost enjoyable.
I THEN volunteered yesterday to go with her to do a couple returns and then shopping at Costco and Target.
Maybe she slipped a mickey and made me docile?
Or maybe subconsciously I am deliberately punishing myself?
Or maybe I have become a shopping-masochist?
My imaginary friend won't even talk to me....

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